


down for you

by nochanchu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Romance, hook up mention but no smut included!, lots of overthinking about the complexities of being with your best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nochanchu/pseuds/nochanchu
Summary: Contrary to common belief, being in a relationship with your best friend isn’t as easy as you’d think. It’s new territory for the both of you; luckily, you have him to remind you that it’s all learning process that you two are taking together.
Relationships: Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas/Reader, Wong Yukhei/reader
Kudos: 16





	down for you

Sometimes you have to ask yourself if dating Wong Yukhei is a good idea, if the executive decision to cross boundaries from the “Should we try this?” to the “Holy fuck, are we actually trying this?” is worth the awkwardness of transitioning.

It’s not weird. Per se. It’s more… different.

There are things you’ve done with him that you don’t think twice about like going out to boba places or spending twelve consecutive hours at the 24-hour library on campus. They’re like secondhand nature. You don’t have to overthink when you hit him up at 2 AM to go grab some coffee or if something’s just weighing on your mind and you just need a distraction. Whereas, there are still things that you aren’t quite sure about like kissing or holding his hand. Like you really fuckin’ want to, but another part of you wonders if this is the point of no return. If you metaphorically consummate this agreement that you’ll be losing him if things fall to shit.

Perhaps it helps that you’ve only known him for a couple of years. Somehow forging a friendship with one another after only a few obligatory discussions in a comparative literature class you both breezed through as easily as you both seemed to formulate a bond over a hot pot place up near the state’s capital city, because “if there’s one place everyone needs to try for hot pot, then that is the place.” (His words, not yours, but you agreed nonetheless.) You can vaguely recall how tentative conversations about homework stopped being about homework and more about what kinds of things you like, where you both hung out, and who you both knew, because unbeknownst to either of you, Dong Sicheng would be the bridge over the small gap between you two.

Because once Sicheng became a variable in the equation, suddenly it wasn’t just study hangouts together, it was coming out at ungodly hours for caffeine and snack food from all the best places in town. It was the necessary transition to be where you both are now, and it was the very push that essentially established a something-more and something-that-could-be, that has led you down this path of hand-holding and shy pecks when you think (and hope) no one else is watching.

The very thought of a relationship with Wong Yukhei still gets to you too. Not only has he single handedly integrated himself into your life as your best friend, he’s become your significant other. Your boyfriend. Your boo. Your… something (everything). And, realizing just how easily he has transitioned his way across your life makes you queasy and nervous, bringing forth a new bundle of emotions you locked away so long ago.

When you look at him, you ask yourself if this is something you should be doing, if what you’re really doing by participating with your best friend is truly okay, and if or when this comes to an end, will you be ready to deal with those consequences? You ask yourself if holding his hand and kissing his lips feel right or if running his hands through your hair or if his large, firm hands on your hips should feel that foreign.

You see happiness and possibility with him, but at the very same time, you fear for the crash and burn—

“You okay?” Yukhei asks with his eyes trained on you. His once far steps begin to match your slowed pace, no longer as excited as they once were for the tea cups.

The two of you have been abandoned by the rest of the group for obvious reasons, and somehow it does not bring you as much comfort as you once confided to Sicheng. In fact, the lack of tomfoolery and rowdiness that the rest of the group brings actually emphasizes the sudden stiffness that you’ve been trying to avoid since arriving at LAX. Although this trip has been planned months in advance, the development of your relationship with Yukhei is still new.

Back at home, it’s too easy to let yourself fall into that small comfort of interlocked fingers and the small shared smiles of camaraderie in your classes. You don’t think twice about it when no one else is around, and yet knowing that everyone else is traipsing around Disneyland while you’re both off doing your own thing makes you feel exposed. Like they know you guys are together, and yet you don’t know what they’re thinking about you two. The most frustrating part of it all is that you don’t usually care about what people think when it comes to you. Your relationships are merely an extension of you, so how this bothers you as much as it does, still doesn’t quite register in your brain all that well.

You know everything’s okay with him. You haven’t had issues over dumb things or really any issues at all. You can’t even deny that things have gone surprisingly well since his confession to you a few months back. In many ways, it has felt like a long time coming, and just about everyone in your shared friend group can agree. But now that it’s here, present and glaringly so, you’re actually quite nervous.

He says your name.

Instead of at the three-foot distance you could’ve sworn you two were at, his voice reaches you by the shell of your ear. The deep, huskiness articulating your name as it has plenty of times before elicits a sudden jump of surprise from you in response.

You flash him a glare when he lets out an abrupt snort and half of a hearty laugh.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says with the corners of his lips twitching. “But seriously, are you okay? You seem a little uneasy. Is it the crowd?”

You look up from a stray gum wrapper just as a few passersby brush against you two in an attempt to get to the teacups that’ve been calling Yukhei’s name since you both arrived at the amusement park. The prick of guilt surges over you as the line looks like you’ve both missed your shot at riding the multi-colored pastel cups this time, you respond with a sheepish laugh.

“No, no, I’m fine. I’m sorry for making you miss the ride though.”

He doesn’t look particularly convinced which is to be expected with all the time you’ve spent together, but he still waves off your apology with a casual grin. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and guides you down the lane toward the line, so neither of you miss the line on the next session.

“No need to be sorry, there’s always a next time,” he says with a small glance your way. You meet his look very briefly before looking back at the spinning machines coated in soft shades of pinks, blues, and yellows. He leans in once more though you don’t jump (thankfully) to ask, “Are you sure you’re alright though?”

You nod, tentatively wrapping your arm around his waist. “The crowd’s no biggie for me. It’s not actually that bad right now.”

“Is it something else then?” When you half-heartedly shake your head, he raises an eyebrow at you. “You can tell me if something’s wrong.”

You blink as his gaze meeting yours does not waver. He never fails to surprise you even when you think he isn’t paying attention. It’s like the time he knew when you were disappointed about your first physics midterm and when you failed your driving test the first time you took it. As soon as he received the half-hearted text message about your failure, he was right over with milk tea and your favorite stew from that one phở place you both love. His perceptive eye almost always catches you when you least expect it, whether that’s when you’re hiding your true emotions or needing someone’s shoulder to lean on. He just knows how to decipher you and your safeguards. And at this moment, you’re not sure whether you love it or hate it right now.

Because the offer tempts you. Of course, you don’t like keeping things from him. You’ve come to a point in your relationship where you can tell him everything and just about anything isn’t off the table, though this has long since been a thing even before you both decided to give romance a shot. Being “together” together doesn’t change that. It shouldn’t. That’s what you both agreed on. Truthfully, you just can’t tell if it is just you struggling to adjust or if he was just that good at hiding how he really felt, because again, he surprises you more than you like to admit. And that thought is enough for you to back off, the self-assurance of your own thoughts telling you that he would tell you if that were the case.

“I’m fine, I promise.” You try to smile, knowing fully well how fruitless the gesture is but still deciding to try it out anyway.

He’s obviously still unconvinced. But the longer he looks at you expectantly, the more you grow silent as a power play response.

If there’s one thing Wong Yukhei hates, it’s silence. It unnerves him. He needs something to fill the air, otherwise he can’t help but fidget. It’s why you can’t study too long together, because then neither of you will get anything done. And it’s especially why he heaves a sigh before amending the situation.

“You’re super sure then?”

You simply nod and he leaves the topic be as you both wait to get on the ride.

Waiting in such a public area doesn’t give either of you much cover. In fact, it leaves you both out in the open, like fish laid out to dry on a burning hot summer day or deer prancing in an open road. It’s as though Fate wanted you both to get spotted, much to your displeasure.

There’s a chorus of raucous laughter and shrill shrieks that could only belong to the loudest mouths of the bunch as soon as you and Yukhei inch forward. The sounds are too familiar for your liking, eliciting only a glare in the direction of all the ruckus as you and the very tall, very noticeable man besides you gives a sheepish wave of his own as your group of friends drinks both your interlocked hands and close proximities in like dehydrated flowers.

“Hey lovebirds!” Yuta pipes up, accompanied by his girlfriend. She’s almost sympathetic to your embarrassment if it weren’t for how cute you and Yukhei looked together, then she might’ve helped you out by calming the excited ash blond whose hand is entwined in her own.

They’re cute and admirable, a perfect example of friends to lovers, though with some minor adjustments—some of which was Yuta’s initial position as her Japanese tutor before finding the courage to ask her out compared to yours and Yukhei’s initial drunk sex-capade, a detail that you still have yet to come to a proper conclusion on, because how could things be so different from then to now? You almost wished you two hadn’t done the deed and instead started things off normally like confession without the pretenses of messing around in the background. But you decide not to indulge in retaliation, merely releasing Yukhei’s hand and stretching your limbs in front of you before resting your hands behind your head.

Sicheng very briefly catches your eye as if to ask you if things are going alright, but you ignore him and the audible groans from the others at the lack of skinship between you and Yukhei. You know they’ve been dying for yours and Yukhei’s relationship since the group started and finally took notice of your close friendship. But while you relished in this unification between your respective friend groups, which so easily blended together, you kind of wished it didn’t create such an immense pressure on you to fall into those standards of what couples do and how they’re supposed to act around one another.

Even if the embarrassment is wholly eating at you, their departure is something you relish in as you and Yukhei are prompted into the ride, leaving behind your friends and their incessant teasing.

“Ah, don’t mind them,” he tells you.

You give him a small nod, which causes him to place his palm atop your head for a couple of a seconds. It earns him a smile, even if it does not wholly reflect the thoughts inside your head.

/

At the very least, getting on the teacups changes the mood.

Being that it is his first time there, and you’re a Disneyland veteran, you have made it your own personal goal to give him the full experience. Like everyone else flying at unmeasurable speeds, you start off by grabbing hold of the steering wheel between you and the ash blond man, giving the warm metal several good turns to get the canary yellow teacup spinning. This keeps the momentum up, moving you both so rapidly, you don’t even realize how closely it has brought you together until you can hear his laughter at your side and one of his hands covers yours to join in on the spinning.

It stays like that too. Even after you both have exited off the ride, you both shakily navigate around the park in search of another ride to quench your thrill-seeking taste buds.

When you look up, you find him already staring at you and looking away from you all in the same moment. It makes you laugh, but you try not to exacerbate the teasing or the pink in his cheeks as you two pass through the vicinity. He has these moments where you've caught him looking at you; at first, you assumed it was because there might've been something on your face that you didn't catch before walking out of your dorm, and eventually, it became abundantly clear that he was simply trying to capture the moment. Last time you shared a moment like this, you both crossed the bridge from friends to lovers, and now you two were at the point of no return.

“What do you wanna do next?” you ask him.

You needed to break the moment. It helped to blink, just so you wouldn't fall back into your previous disposition. You didn't want to worry him, you didn't like to. It wasn't like he meant for things to happen as they did. He hadn't been one to initiate the hook-up, though he consented and reciprocated with as much fervor as you had. He had blurted out his confession shortly afterwards; it was quick, slurred together because his heart was probably ready to jump out of his chest when he realized it was now or never. Either you two would have done that or acted as if nothing had happened, and truthfully, you don't think you could've done the latter. Not when all your feelings seemed to sit in your throat, ready to jump out.

Truthfully, you've been one to admit your feelings to those you admired, but never with close friends. You had never liked your close friends. It wasn't some kind of unspoken rule or anything. It was just a matter of keeping romantic and platonic relationships from being one; it was easier this way, less messy in case things went awry. Close friends were hard to come by, relationships always complicated things to a point where you didn't know whether you had the same person in your life. Previous significant others had used secrets of yours against you; they would take what they wanted from you and leave, and it all hurt like a bitch.

It hasn't with Yukhei, you reassure yourself. And it truly hasn't.

He's looking at you with a goofy grin spread across his handsome face. He tells you, “Whatever you want to do."

The gesture is contagious, and you begin to feel butterflies fluttering inside your stomach.

“You’re technically the expert here, so you take the reign,” he adds, running a hand through his hair. You know he doesn't want to do the wrong thing with you, partially from the group's advising and also because relationships just take that kind of patience. You two have spent a long time being friends, enjoying each other's presence without the same expectations as you two have now. Of course, it's a little different. Of course, you two can expect to be a little nervous. It's untouched territory, you have to remind yourself. You're both figuring shit out.

You don't want to freak him out, so you try to keep the banter up. It isn't hard when he's as expressive and funny as he is. It even helps you push aside all of these floating thoughts a little longer.

“Don’t I always?” you snicker as his jaw drops. It’s moments like this that are reminiscent of your relationship prior to now. Back then, it was easy to have flirty banter, because any sort of intention was simply in the background. It wasn’t mandated by your relationship status; instead it sort of just happened. It didn’t happen because it needed to. It happened because you two wanted it to happen.

He tries to muster up a serious enough tone, but you can hear the whine in it. The sound earns him another laugh from you. “No! I’m pretty sure I’ve had a fair share of being the leader,” he says, with a slight puff to his chest.

Tapping your chin, you reply, “I suppose so.”

The gesture exacerbates his dramatics by earning you a guffaw.

“I do! I may not be the Disneyland expert, but I can make a suggestion.” He tilts his head, ever-so-slightly. “Yeah?”

You stop tapping your chin to wave him on and his hand takes that hand into his. “Of course, you can!”

As he interlaces your fingers with his, you have a mild suspicion that he’s going to lead you to the Silly Symphony Swings. Only mild because it’s rather close and you could see that it was something he had his eyes on since you two arrived.

Something about the ride is reminiscent of him, perhaps he gravitates to them for the opportunity to make his childhood dream of flying come true. It was a superpower he mentioned during one of those god awful ice breakers on the first day of that comparative literature class, and something he went into further detail when you guys had your previous hangouts, before this relationship ordeal.

“Trying to fly, Superman?” You indulge in his desire to swing your arms. He loves it, practically bouncing as you two walk between the crowds.

“It’s just like how you make me feel,” he says, giving you a twirl as you approach the line. "Is that okay?"

It's so becoming of Yukhei to still ask if something is okay. You remember him mentioning how he used to get scolded for being too much with previous partners, always one for the cheesy gestures like twirling a loved one in those romantic comedies or quoting the absolutely cringey lines from movies just for the laughs. You found--and still do find--it endearing; the others not so much.

“Of course,” you say, laughing just as loudly as he does. “I can't control your feelings, silly."

"Can I kiss you?" he asks, "is that okay?"

You nod, almost ready to shut your eyes when he kisses the top of your head.

Moments like this serve to remind you that he still has your best interests in mind. He cares a whole fuck ton about you, and no change to your and his relationship status can ever alter that. He hasn’t changed into a completely different person like one assumes would happen in a relationship between friends, so why should you?

This feels right. The giggles, the weightlessness, his hand in yours.

/

You two finally catch up with your group for lunch at one of the all too expensive restaurants in the park. Since it is Yukhei’s first time there, you don’t mind it so much, as it is an experience you think people should have at least once.

Yuta eyes the two of you, seemingly ready to let loose another witty observation before his girlfriend shoves a French fry into his mouth. She smiles sweetly to him before flashing you an apologetic look.

You must’ve appeared a little disgruntled already. The time with Yukhei was both lovely and nerve-wracking, because a small but rather haunting part of you couldn't stop wondering if your time separated from the group would upset them. After all, they had extricated themselves from the two of you so you and Yukhei could spend more time together. What if you two had overindulged?

A part of your stomach churns as you and Yukhei take a seat beside the teasing boy. Being back with everyone begins to remind you of the initial doubts you had, the very ones you’ve had bubbling inside of you. And it makes you feel worse when you feel Yukhei reach for your hand across the table, because everyone is there, watching, waiting, and worst of all, expecting the two of you to be some sort of perfect, lovey dovey couple going through their honeymoon phase.

Maybe you guys should be, maybe it’s fine. You want to believe it is, but somehow the way you waver to hold hands, incites another comment.

“Trouble in paradise, love birds?” Yuta asks, raising an eyebrow at you two.

You give him a sidelong glance and shake your head.

“We’re fine,” Yukhei pipes in. He seems to overtake your thumb then, and he gives a short victory giggle, mainly to himself. It makes the corners of your lips twitch, though you stop short just as you hear Yuta speak again.

“Are you sure?” he inquires, looking at you this time.

“We’re fine,” you add, with a huff, “really.”

Yuta still seems to watch you both, though everyone else makes work of doing the same. It unsettles you just how much your relationship feels like it’s under a microscope, one wrong move and suddenly things are blown out of proportion.

Perhaps that's another reason why you aren't prone to going out with friends. The idea of a relationship having such an audience unsettles you. You like your privacy and keeping that kind of business under wraps. These things are supposed to be intimate, accepted if the partner is a good person for you (which Yukhei is on all levels), and yet, you feel like your relationship is proceeding jaggedly, because of the hyper-fixation.

You sigh, having already let go of Yukhei's hand once you and the others received your food. And the sigh doesn't go unnoticed either. You have a few glances from Yuta and Sicheng, Yukhei too, but you stand up and excuse yourself to the restroom.

Despite it being on the left, you take a right to get away from the restroom itself.

/

You manage to navigate through the crowd and remain within reach of the restaurant by hiding out in one of the souvenir shops that you and the others planned on visiting near the end of your visit. There's an assortment of Disney ears, stuffed animals from nearly all the movies, and things of that nature.

The ears have always caught your eye, the pink glittery ones, the blue ones. They're all made with different designs, based off of the various movies made by Disney and Pixar, and they remind you of a simpler time where relationships were yours, not part of an audience and watched. They also remind you of yours and Yukhei's mutual love for the movies; one of the main tipping points in your transition from classmate acquaintances to budding friends. His favorite had been the sweet and fun  _ Hercules _ , while you heavily shared a love for that one,  _ Treasure Planet _ definitely had your heart. Both were stories of characters trying to find their own in the world. You smile to yourself.

You’re just about to check your phone and update your friends and Yukhei about where you are when you see him. Your ash blond boyfriend who gives a small wave.

“Hey you,” he says as he makes his way beside you. He paws through the ears, probably to see if there are any  _ Hercules _ -themed ears. 

“Hey,” you say, wishing you had found one just to give it to him. You decide to check for those on Etsy sometime later, or one of those Instagram boutiques, just to see him light up. 

“Doin’ okay?” he asks, stopping his search when he realizes it’s futile and looks at you. 

You don’t say anything, giving a shrug. “I’m sorry,” you say. 

“Talk to me,” he prods gently. “If that’s okay?” 

“I’ve been worried about us,” you admit. “Not that I don’t want this or you. I do. I’m just so uncertain about this whole thing.”

“That’s no reason to be sorry, you know,” he says. He offers a hand to you, an escape from the shop for more privacy, which you take. It's a brief walk to a seating area not too densely populated by the park visitors. It’s a bench beneath some of the all too perfect-looking shrubbery, where there are red little flowers with yellow dot-like centers to make it even more picture perfect. 

As soon as you two sit down, you immediately ask, “Did we fuck up by not confessing first?”

He shakes his head. “I think what we did was still special, even if it wasn’t very conventional to the kind of relationship we think should have. But I think whatever relationship we have, whatever start, is still pretty damn special.” 

Your hand is still in his, and he gives yours a squeeze. 

“Aren’t you worried?”

He lets loose a shaky laugh, “Of course I am. Relationships are so terrifying and new. I’m scared shitless wondering if I’m doing anything okay. That’s why I keep asking. I don’t ever want to put you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable or obligated in any shape or form. But you know what?”

You nod for him to go on. You didn’t realize he was feeling similar jitters. 

“As scared and nervous as I am, I’m just as excited to begin this new journey with you wherever it takes us. And if you don’t think you’re ready for it, then I’m fine backing off, taking things easy, or even trying to go back to the way things were. It wouldn't be the exact same, but again, I don’t want you to feel obligated to be in this relationship if it isn’t something you feel like doing.” 

“I want to,” you tell him. “I do. I really want to see how this goes, because you’re an amazing guy, Yukhei. I didn’t even realize you were scared too. I guess just thinking back on previous relationships and how we came to be got me overthinking. This is new for me. I’ve never dated a best friend before. If anything, that’s probably the most terrifying part about this. I don’t know what’ll happen by the end of it, if that comes and I don’t know when or if it will. But just not knowing drives me crazy.” 

“I mean, you were willing to consider that, so that says something, right? That you’re willing to take a leap of faith and see where we go together?” he asks, rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb. “I think us not being best friends anymore would suck, indefinitely. I think you’re one of my favorite people in this world, next to my mom.” You laugh just as he smiles. “But I think whatever happens happens because it’s meant to. We’ll be in each other’s lives, no doubt. I think it’d take time and space, but also communication if we wanna get through whatever pops up, yeah?”

“Yeah, you make a good point there,” you say, considering everything he’s said. It sounds like your rational side aloud. “I’m sorry for being such a mess.” 

He shakes his head. “Nah, I’ve been freaking out, wondering if I was doing something wrong. Being too much. If it wasn’t that, then I thought maybe I was being too much of a worrywart, but I’m sorry for not picking up on how you were feeling.” 

“You couldn’t have known unless I told you,” you point out. “Plus, another thing that’s been bugging me has been how doting our friends have been for some reason.” 

Yukhei agrees, “They have been, especially Yuta.” 

“I know it’s all in good fun, but I’ve been hypersensitive to it all. This whole trip has been giving me the jitters. I don’t know, it seems so silly,” from Yukhei’s look, it doesn’t see it so casually, which comforts you, “okay, not so silly, but it seems so odd to think that it wouldn’t be super easy to be with you. You’re great and I like that we can finally be honest with ourselves and our feelings, but somehow I expected best friends transitioning to a relationship to be less awkward?” 

“I’m sorry he’s been bugging you so much,” you give a shrug since you know Yuta means no harm by it, “I get what you mean. All the movies make this seem like it should be super easy and super perfect.” 

“Doesn’t it feel like we should be in our honeymoon phase already?” 

“Like the whole ‘I love you so much,’ ‘no, you hang up,’ and then that weird game of wanting to hang up but not wanting to hang up?” 

You both laugh at the ridiculousness. Neither of you are like that, kudos to those who are and can be, but it isn’t you guys. You laugh over silly things, nerd out over movies you love, break out in song and dance when the song absolutely calls for it. You guys have your own way of doing things, and even Yukhei understands the pressures and the uncertainties, and yet, he’s still more than willing to work through them and find ways that will. 

“You think we can make this work?” you ask, letting go of his hand because yours has gone a little clammy. 

He nods, “It helps with communication.” 

You laugh sheepishly as he pulls you into a hug. “No matter how you’re feeling I’m more than happy to hear what you have to say and I will try my damn hardest to help.” 

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, but he simply kisses your forehead after letting go of you. 

“I only want the best for you, silly. No apology needed.” 

In response, you simply pull him in for a kiss. It’s sweet and chaste, still different and new, but comforting all the same. He reciprocates, smiling into the kiss. 

Whatever thoughts you had earlier, you find that they don’t weigh as heavy on your shoulders anymore. Of course, it’s going to take some learning and communicating, but you’re as just as glad as he is that you guys get to do this thing together. 


End file.
